The question of creating strong and harmonious relations is always of great interest. It is important for young guys and girls, and even for successful adults. How can we determine whether the relationship with this boyfriend will be happy?
In order to avoid disappointment, broken heart, it is necessary to take a closer look at the mate. It is necessary to pay attention to unity of life positions, attitude to people, personal qualities.
Many fundamental issues are discarded, hidden behind emotions, but they can complicate real life together, create unnecessary problems or even destroy the relationship. At the same time, you should firstly decide your own position on each issue and only then begin the comparison.
Preferences in the place of residence - rural or urban area, together with relatives or in your own house, attitude to abortion and the desire to have children, hierarchy and priority in decision-making in the family, the position of the woman at home and in society. Full compliance is rare, but only a compromise is needed. For example, if you want three children, and the husband agrees (for objective or subjective reasons) only on one, then you can still come to an agreement, but if he does not want to have children at all, the question immediately becomes much more complicated.
Special attention should be paid to the way the mate behaves with the people around him. Looking at this, you can understand how much the man meets the emotional expectations.
It is important to know what qualities the man considers most attractive, who are his best friends, where is his limits of trust – which people he considers to be worthy of trust? Was he alone in his past life, and who supported him in those moments? What was in his life the most tragic, caused pain in his soul? What qualities in women does he pay attention first of all, how he sees his life companion? What is unacceptable to him, what actions or habits lead him out of the balance of mind, what is his attitude to debts. Does he have a habit to lend money to someone or to borrow money from someone, what maximum money amount can he borrow for a while? What is the attitude of the man to earn in the family, to the business lady, to marriage contracts?
The general principles of behavior of a man will always be preserved, to his life partner he’ll behave the same as to other people around him.
In order to understand the man whom, you like you need to devote time to conversations with him, first of all to listen to him. The desire to impress, to tell about yourself as much as possible can push the interlocutor away. But you also need to listen skillfully and to support the conversation with leading questions, directing it to the sphere of interest. At the same time, it is necessary to analyze what is heard, draw conclusions and change their behavior. Long pauses should be avoided. If the conversation has stalled, you can ask about any new sphere of life man’s interests
You should talk to your interlocutor, and not with the surrounding furniture: look at each other's face and do not keep rolling your eyes. The person should feel attention and interest, feel in the center of attention.
You should selectively approach what to tell the person at the first stages of acquaintance.
Too much of frankness can only alienate, frighten away a person.
Moreover, he having learned important details he can start to selectively choose words in his speech and intentionally placing accents in speech. This will greatly complicate figuring out the nature of the interlocutor.
You should share your dreams and hopes only after the man wakes up his sense of affection, and that will happen if he had the opportunity to speak out.
Some topics for conversation should be avoided – they only harm relationships. At best, it will be a loss of time, but it can also kill incipient interest.
Gossip only interfere with knowing each other, they hide their own goals and values of the interlocutors. The discussion of other people should always be neglected, changed the topic of the conversation.
Banality, common places - an indicator that the conversation has stalled. This is a sign of mistrust or limited thinking of the interlocutor.
The conversation should be interesting and meaningful for both of you. Professional questions, the life of old friends, not yet presented to the interlocutor, their hobbies can be boring for the interlocutor, do not have to dive too deeply into them.
Creative approach is useful, but too stormy fantasy requires restraint. Too good storyteller is not useful at home.
Sincerely ask the interlocutor, be attentive to his words and actions, life aspirations. This will help to understand, build mutual relations and will become a strong foundation for them, a good basis.